It is a relief to have the calmness of mind to write for a while.
In short order:
Boo Boo is still there but much better. Jazzy is learning to live in his cone.
It is a major relief to be off Diamox. Psychosis versus possible loss of vision. Jumping off a building or learning Braille. You be the judge.
I am on a water pill though. From the day I stopped the Diamox to today I have dropped 15 pounds of fluid.
I got the band refilled on Friday and I am ready to get myself back on the losing side. I know my body should understand the word "Full" at the end of a normal meal, but it doesn't and the days from Jan 5th when I had to have the band unfilled until Friday January 19th, my body would not let my brain know what feeling full was.
I will admit, I was disappointed in myself. No will power, yada, yada, etc.
But, it did show me that there are certain things in this life that I need to get off my own back about and just accept. One of them is that physically I will never know how to acknowledge what "full" feels like with out modern technology.
So bless the scientists and modern medicine and even the insurance industry for allowing me to accomplish my goals.
I find I am smiling again. That is not to say I am particularily happy about how my life is going but without the side effects of the Diamox, I have a certain airy feeling going on. That feeling like I will accomplish what I need to in life and it isn't a horrible chore.
Happiness has always been my main goal in life. Health, etc get you to that happiness. Sometimes though, just the smile is enough. Today is like that.
Saturday I had my upper limbs tested. Basically you are hit with a very low voltage taser gun.
Momma Bess, excuse the language, but "FUCKING OUCH!"
My right side wasn't too hurting but my left arm went absolutely dead at the end. Every muscle he touched spasmed out so bad I was crying at the end.
The technician said I definitely have Carpel Tunnel in both wrists. He will have the Neurologist read the rest to see why my left arm and then neck did what it did. I forgot that, he tested my neck and while it wasn't too bad, when I went to put on my coat I had a massive tension headache for 5 minutes.
Sometimes the tests are just worse than any darn illness.
Today is the Neuro-Opthalmologist. Lets see how much more vision I am losing.
I am thinnking of starting a contest, when will the government declare me totally disabled. Side bets, when will the eye guy say I am legally blind.
Oh, don't worry, I am laughing at all this.
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2 comments:
You continue to amaze me with your witt and outlook!! To have to make so many decisions and go through so many painful tests, yet you find a reason to smile and laugh. Little Sis, you are one amazing woman.
Yes, thank God for modern medicene, but wouldn't it be nice if there were not so many negitive side effects. SIGH
Hugs and Hugs and Hugs
Vicki
Ditto to what Vicki said. You are an amazing woman :kiss:
I don't understand the government's ruling of disability, some people get on it when they are not that sick while others have problems. Perhaps soon you will also. I know that would help some.
I love you, my child,
Momma Bess
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