Sigh...

I am starting to get the headaches and dizziness again. I am beginning also to drag my left foot again and sort of trip with my right foot. No falling yet but I have the cane out just in case.

It has only been 7 weeks since my last spinal tap. I hate the thought that my body just won't resolve the Pseudotumor Cerebri like it did in 1997. I am okay with getting another tap before I go away at the end of May, but just the idea that the length of time between each one is getting shorter and shorter makes me a bit sad.

But, on the other hand, I get the tap about a week before the cruise and I will be fine for the whole trip. I can do as much as I want and not worry about anything.

So, deep Sigh, but also, a good outcome.

Enjoy your days.

S.

Negative Nellies begone from our lives!

Sorry,
Just have to rant abit.
I cannot understand at all the need to curse someone when you can keep your damn mouths shut.

I get really disgusted and PO'd(keeping it clean here, thank you very much) when someone responds with a personal attacks, when someone, who clearly needs a positive word, is crying their eyes out, complaining about how miserable the world is, and in general thinks that a choice made was the wrong one.

So, she smokes, so she thinks her way of dieting is the best way. Big F'ing deal. She asks for a response to help her feel good about a decision and while most respond with kindness, a few knock her to her A$$. (Well, trying to keep it clean now).

Hurrah for the few who stood up and said to the negative nellies "Give us a break." I wanted to be one of them. The most I could do was PM the author and let her know I would be there should she want to vent and get a better handle on things.

Ya can't change the world, but you can change your world.

Ah, I feel better now.

**************

Oh, yeah, I am going on a Carribean cruise over the week of Memorial Day, got an amazing rate with two friends for a Balcony suite on Carnival ship Miracle.
9 days/8 nights. Leave NY, two at sea, San Juan, Tortola, Virgin Island, two more at sea.
First cruise. Can't wait. I want a deck chair and a fruity drink with an umbrella in it and a good murder mystery to read....

This one is for Sharon (Theoslady on CK)

"It is astonishing how short a time it takes for very wonderful things to happen." - Frances Burnett

"Exert your talents, and distinguish yourself, and don't think of retiring from the world, until the world will be sorry that you retire." - Samuel Johnson

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten we belong to each other." - Mother Teresa

Almost every day Sharon posts the most wonderful quotes. I hold many of them dear to me.

Sharon, I think you are an amazing lady. What you do, who you are, is give of yourself to others in their most dire of need and or circumstances.

If I could give you anything in this world I would give you one peaceful, totally easy going day.

Since I can't do that, I can just thank you for all you do.

Where is the frutstration icon when I need it?

I HATE GOVERNMENT AGENCIES!

I go out this morning with my friend Andrea to help her out and I come home to find out someone from Social Services had come to my Mom's apt to question if I actually live with her. No notice at all.

I am glad Georgiana was here to help my mom out. "Tiny" as everyone calls Georgiana is the aid who helped my dad out his last year of life and helps me and my mom now.

So, she gave the man what for and will be with me when he comes again. I have to call the guy after 2pm and set up an appt. I don't mind the appt. I just minded the no advance warning. Like the damn Social Services department expects me to lie like that.

Scuse me Momma Bess...

BUT FUCK THEM.

It stressed me out so much I had to go and take a valium, something I have not had to do in almost a month.

I really hate goverment crap....

But, the day is sunny and breezy and I have PT in the pool today.

It could be lots worse.

Love ya all,

Have a joyous day.

Getting my ducks in a row.

Morphine sucks. I mean it really helps my back but it makes me nuts.

Anyhow,
I just sent Mitchell an email, which I should have done a week ago, again thanking him for a great time. I also reminded him that since the weather is getting nicer, he should come down in the evenings and we could go walking on the boardwalk or the beach.

Oh, yeah, other things!!

I am one step closer to getting full "temporary assistance" through NYS Social Services. I got a paper in the mail a few days ago stating that:

"Sandra has been determined to be exempt from participating in Temporary Assistance work activities effective April 20,2007 because according to medical evidence she is currently unable to work due to a medical issue."

Part one down. I sent a copy to my disability lawyer to see if it will help getting the SSDI any faster.

Then two days later I get a letter from Social Services to have my "Board Certified" Neurologist fill out another medical form. This one was 4 pages long. Same damn thing as the last one but more details. This one will cost me $35 for my neurologist to do. I will be billing Social Services for this one!

So, I took over the forms today and also called my neuro opthalmologist because his office still has not sent paper work over to my neuro.

I am truly getting tired of doctors, lawyers, government agencies, etc. Why am I still having to prove myself?

Every day though, no matter how frustrated I get, I am happy in my heart because I have people in my life that make sure I am taken care of. So many people do not have the support system that I have. Over the past year I have developed the habit of trying to help someone or other who asks me for my knowledge. I am glad to give back in someway.

Trying to catch up

Sorry, long week.

1. Lets just say that having to take morphine for my back pain does not make blogging easier, it just makes me sillier.
2. Okay, Momma Bess: there aren't too many detail regarding Mitchell and the comedy club date. I still have a good feeling in my heart. It was so nice to be surprised by someone. I always decide on things or just go for the easiest thing. I was able to do something completely different this time and it was Mitchell who thought enough about me to set it all up.

More later...

Finding Joy in every moment

Joy,
it is a very short word. Three little letters.
Strive for it every day. Joy makes life worthwhile.
Joy is infectious and should be spread around.

Joy. I love the word.

Pignot Grigio and comedy

I had myself a wonderful time with Mitchell.
He took me to a comedy club called "Govenors" in Levittown.
Don't ask me the comedians name, I don't remember it but he was funny! He does his own stand up and then uses ventriloquism dummies for the rest. "Walter" is one of his characters and if you watch Comedy Central you probably have seen the act.

It was fun, funny, relaxing and I have definitely discovered the wine Pignot Grigio. Nice wine and I have a really good buzz going.

The nicest part though was being able to tell Mitchell just how perfect the night turned out.
It was raining really really bad but we went anyway.
It was also the first time when I have said "I love that you thought of me and I love you." that the man actually said back something. "I appreciate that." Not much of a response but it meant quite a bit to me.

I will write more when I get a good night sleep.

vacation?

Off to Virginia.
Everyone please,Enjoy your particular holiday
Be safe, be happy, and above all else
Let the concept of Joy into your hearts.
Back in a few days.
Love Sandra
(aka: girl child, aka: little sis, aka the mother of Jazzy, aka: Big Sis)