Count down: 21 days till Bandiversary

246.6

5.1 pounds to go.

247.6

6.1 lbs to lose by January 24th,2007
then
24 lbs to lose by April 24, 2007
then
18 lbs to lose by July 1, 2007
then
20 pounds to lose by October 1,2007
then
19 pounds to lose by January 24, 2008
high normal BMI and time to check out PS.

Wouldn't it be a perfect world if this actually happened as I wrote it?

:) As long as the scale goes down each week I am satisfied.

End of the year positive goals thread...(I posted this on CK and OH)

"I know I have been lurking for months now and I do not participate in the
threads anymore but I wanted the last day of the year for everyone to end with a
positive feeling.

Soooo,What have you accomplished in 2006?

I don't want to know what you have not done, nor what you feel you should have done, just what you have accomplished this past year.

Rule 1: others shall look at no good thing in a negative light.

Rule 2: Everyone’s path to the end of their journey is different;
everyone needs to respect everyone else's path.

Okay,I will start:I decided to do the gastric band on January 24th, 2006 and have spent the year learning how to use and fine tune this tool. I am right now down 69 pounds. I am 6 pounds from my first years goal on my bandiversary of losing 75 pounds.

I have discovered that I am a beautiful woman inside and out.

I have learned that I will not be put last any longer. I am worth more.

I learned how to flirt.... See my blog for that one.

I learned that not everything is black and white, there are shades of
gray ( :) Sharon)

I have discovered that waking up everyday is a joy and each day
renews my soul.

I also, finally learned unconditional love via my no longer small
dog Jazzy.

Now, I want to hear how great everyone else’s year has gone.

No deed or happening is too small to tell.

And, Happy, Healthy, Joyous, and Prosperous 2007!

"Courage is not about starting something, but about completing it."(Thank
you Miriam for this one) "

Okay, see here is my Achilles heel so to speak. Almost a year ago I was 316.5 as seen on the left picture. I had seen this face a million times, hated it but got use to it.
Now, as of today December 30th I am actually not 250, I am 248.9. I look in the mirror and do not see "me" any longer. I see a cousin, a relative instead.
That is major "SCARY" to me right now. To still believe I am that person on the left.
But I am not. I am the person on the right. I am most times self assured. I am succeeding at this weight game for the first time in my life. Even with all the things "wrong" I am much healthier than I was one year ago.

One day I will only see the me on the right. I think it just takes time and self reassurance that I am not who I was and I never will be again.

I am attempting to lose the remaining 7.4 pounds by January 24th. If I can, how proud I will be. If I don't, how proud I will still be.

I just can't wait to see me next New Years eve....

Okay, here's the scoop.

Now, remember I never called Robert. I chickened out.

Sooooooo, Today, I got back from the Bariatric Center, I was tossing up my meals way to much, so I got an unfill from the band. (I feel much better now thank you).


I decided to lay down and rest. I turned on a marathon of "what not to wear", totally prepared for a dinner of split pea soup (liquids until stomach has it's rest for 3 days).

Knock on the front door. I was not expecting anyone and in my Jammies so I was not going to answer it.
Mom answered it. Guess who is there? Robert and two of the other guys who moved us in. They were moving in people on the fourth floor and wanted to come say hi to us.

Needless to say, I mad dashed for my corderoy jeans and sweater. They had to go back to moving the people in but I see Robert and he says come on down to the 4th floor, bring my phone # since he did not have mine.

I went down and Robert and I spent the next 15 minutes catching up on life. It felt like just yesterday I was talking to him, not 28 days.

Guys, if I did not believe in Karma and Fate before I certainly do now.

Wow....

meandering thoughts...

Please, just remember, my blog, my opinion and not a rant about religon...


You know what I saw and read and listened to this past week, other than the sound of me moaning in pain ;) ?

(And mind you this was not only on CK but on OH also, and at my WLS christmas party.

1. I weigh too much, I am horrible.
2. I am going to blow my diet totally because I KNOW I am going to eat too much.
3. Ugh, I am not where I want to be and it is the end of the year and I can't stand myself.
4. etc. etc. etc.

Now, here is what I heard from my own mind:

1. I am worthwhile. Why do I persist in sabotaging my success? Because I do not know how to succeed. It is scary.
2. If it is scary, then it is something I will conquer. To complain without resisting is a failure in my book.
3. Since I will conquer the fear of success, I am not complaining about the few ounces I gained over the last week. To me a few ounces will not turn into a few pounds.


Next topic

I am not religous, I am sure I have said it before. I was born Jewish, raised Jewish. I tend toward Ethical Culture though in my belief system. That and a belief in the idea that you cannot destroy the soul which just joins the cosmos...

but...

I am a bit appalled with the crap that was the holidays. I kind of am every year but it seemed to bother me the most this year.

I watched my niece open her Hannukah presents while she was up here. Now, I know that my brother doesn't believe in any religon, much less Judaism, but Hannukah is not about religon. It was the story of a people fighting for what they believed in. The oil, of the lamp of life, whether it lasted 8 days or 8 hours or 8 minutes more than it should have was just a bonus. The Maccabees won the right to have the choice of beliving in their religon and not to be forced to believe in something they disagreed with.
THERE WERE NO PRESENTS GIVEN OUT. The closest is the dredle game. This too has no true religous backing. It was used as a game for children during the times before the common era so they could learn their torah. You see, even back then, one's religon was not allowed to be chosen. It was dictated and Judaism was not one of them. Children learned in secret. How better to help a child learn than to make it a game and keep the invaders off your back.

I wanted my niece to understand this all. My brother would not let me. So much for history.

I have also listened to my aide talk about all the presents her kids got as well as what her oldest kids got their kids for Christmas.
I watched commercials, listened to threads, again, not only on CK but OH and etc also.
I want a watch
I want the ____________(Insert electronic game of the day)
Why can't I get ___________(Again, insert game of the day)

Why are they celebrating something that truly has nothing to do it seems with "their savior".
But, you say, Jesus was born on Dec 25th. Bah, he was not and there is tons of historical evidence that he was born during the spring during the census counting and Joseph and Mary had to go to Bethlehem to be counted.

What they are celebrating is from a pagan ritual that occured on the winter soltice. Way back when, when it was believe that nature had souls and we are all part of nature, there were people who lit up the dark nights with candles and fires to keep the evil spirits away. Darkness equal evil.
I love the way the lights look now. Always did. They always helped keep the night lit for me.

Now, to the presents, sorry, St. Nick, the original one would be outraged at what happened to his concept of a toy for the children during that same winter solstice to play with because it was too cold to be outside. Indoor playing at the time I guess consisted of counting how many logs were left for the fire.

I know there are people out there who understand. They do not over do it. They go to temple or church and thank the cosmic leader for all that is good in the world and hope that the coming year will be a sweet one.

So, my holiday gift to you all is
Find the joy in the little things in life.
Do what you can to make your life better.
Make sure you and your family have health and happiness all year long.

And then, when the time feels right. Buy yourself something nice.

Love to you all.

By the way...

Spinal taps are beginning to get easier. Course I went in with 45 mg of Valium.
The radiologist was amazing, even though he missed the first time out, it wasn't too bad and the second time he was in the right spot in a second. I was done in a half hour and back in a bed for 5 hours in no time.

Demorol yeah,
Darvoset Yeah,

High opening spinal pressure boo,
Not as high as last time Yeah,

General demeanor of pain in my back? booo

Having someone else take care of me these few days, priceless....hehehe

Back by popular demand .....Sharon....

Just throw me the chicken emoticon and call me done.

I am so scared to call. It is Friday and I still have his number.
Part of it is these stupid medications that make me so relaxed I can not stay awake.
I fear I fell asleep last night listening to Mitchell talk. Usually I just tune him out when I am bored with what he is saying. Last night, zip, Darvoset zonked me out.

I promise, I will try Roberts phone number tonight and see what happens.

I still want the chicken emoticon though...

Off for a fun day at the Spa....Not

Off for the hospital for another lumbar puncture. I have more valium in me than is used to calm a horse. Full weekend of doing nothing but laying flat on my back or attempting to get to the bathroom.

If spinal taps DID NOT HURT SO FUCKING MUCH, I would say hmmm, sort of like a mini vacation.....

Ta for now all.

This is how it felt trying to get to where I was going!

Babies

This is why you want children....

And this is why I do not have any...

Ah, the wonderful world of my Ava, 5 months old, my niece. We had a great fun time but right now, my day is much much quieter.....Yippie!!!

Apartment photos part deux

One view of the kitchen. In the background is the crock pot. My favorite kitchen utensil.


This pic is in the room we are using as a den. It is a pic of my dads parents when they got things together and came to America. The plaque next to the pic says that their names: Jacob and Rebecca are on the wall on Ellis Island.


The Jacuzzi tub in Moms bathroom. It is slowly becoming my favorite place to be.


My moms Closet. In NYC you can rent out this space for about $1000 a month...



My bedroom. Finally a bed with a view.


Another view. At night, believe me, all the lights shine. I wake up to sunrise.
In the pictures, if you look closely is the photo I took from the many we had of my dad.




And finally, of course the computer, dvd, vcr, cable and television. Heaven forbid I go with out those things....

Story from the move to Long Beach

I wanted to tell you all though that for the first time in my life I flirted with someone.

One of the guys who was moving us was kinda cute and we just hit it off with humor immediately. It got to the point when he called "Sandra" I answered "Yes, honey."

We spent 8 hours moving from the old apt to this new one.
So I guess I spent quite a bit of time talking with and joking with this guy. His name is Rob . He is a bit younger, I think 37 to my 44, divorced and had one son that was killed about a year ago.

We plugged in my "Boom Box" and he settles on the same music station I would have put on.

So, I did something so uncharacteristic for me. I wrote down my name and phone #. I mean, after you have sat on the same bed together during a move, what else is there to do.

I did not know what to think but about an hour later, when the guys were done, he hands me a card that on the back had his name and phone #.

So, what do you think? Should I wait until after the new year and call him. Or just wait to see if he will call me?
Should I just call and say"Were you serious about catching a meal together or were we just having fun during that one day?"

Okay, ladys and gents, HELP !!!!!!

Pictures of a home part one

One of the reasons to live by the water....

This was taken at sunset from the living room balcony.

There is a reason to live in a luxury apt that has a jacuzzi tub but there is no way I am taking a photo of that in action......

How many boxes does it take to move into an apt?

Jazzy had a long night partying. :)

Why say a thousand words...

when one picture will do.

She's Baaacckk!!!

Back from moving hell.
Will have pics up soon showing the new digs off.
I am loving it.
I just found out there is a full gym in the building and it is open 24/7.

Jazzy is having a blast sniffing all the new dogs and eating sand.

My mom is slowly coming out of her depression and her grieving about my dad is easing a bit.

Oh yeah, I am now down to 247. That is now 69.5 less lard than before my banding. I am eating right and even though the exercise is tough with my balance issues I am walking Jazzy about 20 minutes a day.

My goal was 75 lbs down by my Bandiversary on January 24th 2007 and by golly, I am going to do it.

Life is sweet right now.

More to come.

If you visit me come in and say hi in the comment field....