Pain redux

F'ing Ouch. I still have a week before my next spinal tap and I can't stand the waiting.

Migraines are worse than gunshots I believe. I am back taking Fueroset three times a day for the pains.

I wish I could live in water. Then my damned back would not hurt. I am so crippled today from the herniated disc I can't even stand up straight. I keep ice on it half the day and take the morphine the other half.

I am not sad, just so damn frustrated and angry at the uncertainties.

Pain just makes your life hell.

And my poor Jazz is such a sweetheart but I feel so angered that I can't run with him or like today, take him on a long walk. My aide took him out twice so he got the exercise but I want to be the one to do it.

After the tap though, two days of massive migraines and then free of pain for another two months. Well free of pain in my neck and head. My herniated disc, welll that is a crap shoot.

The therapy in the pool is wonderful and I am back to swimming twice a week, doing the PT and then laps. I am up to 16, almost back to a quarter mile.
If I did not have to get out of the pool, life would be easier. I get out and my left foot goes tingly and then numb. ARRGH!

Then, of course, I get really down on it all and binglet myself into coma with ice cream Low fat and low sugar, but dang, a quart goes down too easily. Well, not that easily, if the gastric band has its way, I will toss up half what I had.
Yuck, and yet, I did that last night alright.

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on a brighter note
My niece Annette turns 6 on the 18th. SIX! My goodness, she was just my little sweetheart with the chicken legs. Now she is going to be going into first grade in the fall. Time goes quickly.

Also, I got an Ipod and have been spending the past couple days loading my cd's onto it. I did not realize I had so much music. I can load 1000 songs, I am up to almost 700 already and I still have about 10 cd's left and four more I want to take out of the library.

My cruise is now 14 days away. I have all my clothes ready and drugs are set up. I got my passport and all I have to do is show up in Manhattan at 12th ave. and 55 th street at the pier with documents and luggage at hand. Its funny, someone who casually looked at my life would thing, "what the hell does she need a vacation for? She doesn't do anything that would need one." Hell, I work hard at dealing with my life. I am so emotionally exhausted from dealing with least of my doctors and illnesses, most of all with the damn government agencies. I long for my deck chair, ipod, book and fruity drink with umbrella sitting beside me. I want fantasy for 9 days. After that, I will be able to deal again with reality.

Jazz will be getting his summer shaving this week, along with yearly shots and such. He is little sweetie.

Well, time to take another pain pill. Oh, yeah, Wednesday I have an appt. with pain management doctors. Hopefully they will come up with something better than I am doing now.

Ta for now.