The voyage continues

Okay, lets see how much I can write before I have to leave for PT.

May 31st:It is around 2pm and I am on some beach in St. Thomas.

What an amazing difference from Puerto Rico.
Heck, I am too tired to write. I am going snorkeling and then sit in the sun for a while.

10pm: Back to St Thomas.
What a clean island. We docked around 7am. It was so relaxing just watching as the island came into view. Yup, rainy and foggy but the green of the hill and mountains was worth every drop of rain on my head.
It was really really humid in the morning and we went shopping.

I bought myself a Topaz ring and necklace. I decided I wanted to have a legacy for my nieces, Annette and Ava. Not that I do not love what I bought, rather, well, my grandmother had her Jewish star that is now my moms and will eventually be mine and then to the girls. I want to leave something special for them. I have nothing of monetary value for them. I can only love them emotionally, with all my heart and soul. Now, that is wonderful, but long after I am gone I want them to have the gem and smile thinking about all the things I loved about them and that they loved about me.I supose that sounds shallow since I know they will always remember me anyway. But, right now, since I have no children, they are my legacy, and I love them so.

Anyway, I also bought two inexpensive silver rings. So far they must be sterling because no green has shown up around my finger.And I bought crap for everyone.We came back to the ship around noon. First off, humidity, no sugar, and being obese suck. Having PTC makes it even friggin worse. Thank goodness for Paula, who let me hold onto her walking back to the ship. I was having major issues with seeing and walking.

I was so close to not going to the beach in the PM cause I was so exhausted, but I rested a half hour, my head and eyes came back into focus and off we all went. It turned out to be great. Nice clean soft white sand underfoot. Light blue water. Rip off for the cost of a chair...Other than eating half a sandwich I brought with me from the ship, too fast, and a sip too much of a drink (which all came up quickly, thank you very much), I snorkeled and swam and sunned. What amazing fun.

I stayed in and played in the surf longer than I would up home (NY). I relaxed in the sun and browned up. I had sand in every crevice of my body and as I showered when we got back I remembered why I do not really care for swimming in the ocean. Bless the person who created soap.

Oh, I had a photo taken with a Rastafarian and a donkey. I am not sure who smelled worse, the guy or the donkey.

I learned something about myself today: I really am pretty but my clothing makes me look horrid.
I looked at myself in the mirror near the jewlery shop on the ship and saw a skirt that sat improperlly, a shirt that was too long for my frame, and a pair of clod hopper shoes tha did not match at all.
Fat, dumpy, ugly kept going thru my head and that was all I saw. It did not matter at all that my face and hair looked really pretty, or that I was doing things I have never done before. I felt like a failure. And I don't know why I cannot stop myself from denegrating my spirit. I am so lucky to be able to do what I do. I have worked so hard to get here. I know in my logic part how much I have accomplished but just a glance in a skewed mirror will crash me.

Good lord, Diane (my therapist) kick me out of this hole, will you?




Good morning ladies and Gentlemen, this is your cruise director....continuing May 31st.

I sat outside on the balcony under a full moon on a mostly clear night.
HEAVEN.
Figuratively and literally.

If I thought I felt insignificant as a small microbe on a small ship in a huge ball of water, then seeing aht glorious white moon, with her grinning face made me even smaller. Smaller in size and yet so fortunate to be able to experience the awe of seeing it all.

The happy moon, gazing down at this blue planet, seeing its tormentor, the Earth, who won't release her from her monthly orbit. And yet, gaily she sees us, me even, and allows me to watch her reflection in the black darkness of the waves.

How bad can life really be when I am witness to this beauty. This joy.

Tomorrow at 6am I will be getting up, waiving at Tortola and dreading the days adventure. "Swimming with dolphins". I feel like a Chum bucket. Blech. But, I will pet a dolphin and have it kiss me. I will even take a picture to make Jazzy jealous. hehe

Then, thank the god of ships, I have another 50 minute full body massage. My body will be thanking me by 3pm.

Finally a resizing of an ankle bracelet (yeah, tomboy me) that I bought. It is sterling silver with little pearls ands silver shells. It is really delicate and cute as anything. Jeez, I am such a girl.


June 1st:5:30pm: waiting on the dining room to open. The day turned out better than I thought it would. Swimming with the Dolphins, ours was named Electra, was okay. I love that I did it, ONCE, and now I never have to do this again. I swam, kissed petted. The price was a rip off, as waw the cost of pics and a DVD but, heck in for a penny, in for a pound.Electra was a sweet mammal, but well, since I don't know any other dolphins, I guess she is sweet.We left around 8am, got back close to 11am. I rested until almost noon, then went to lunch up on the Lido deck. I ended up eating Indian food with Jose. Pleasant. Actually, it was the most relaxing lunch I have had. No where to rush to or to follow someone elses schedule.

After lunch I went for the massage. Don't ask the cost... I am going to be so in debt I don't want to really tally it all up.

I came backk to the room, got changed and went to the slots. Now I know I must have lost about $200 total so far this trip but this afternoon I made back $80 of it. Made me smile inside.

Tonight's dinner is prime rib and I am going to savor it as much as I did the Indian food. No rushing.
I am also going to get another photo done of me. I did not like the one that the ships photogs did on the formal seating night.
I have on a peach shirt and blazer so I hope I look ok and can buy one.

I must attempt to sleep early. I want to be up early in the am to do a couple of miles on the ships deck before it gets too hot and humid. I like being on my own, doing what I want when I want it.

My life, my successes.

The singer in this lounge outside the dining room is singing Louie Armstrong's "What a wonderful world". In my eyes and heart tonight it certainly is.

Nice way to live, don't ya think?

time to get my hair cut and nails done. Again, jeez, I am such a girl.... more later